It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
ok first of all what the fuck
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
