I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
