it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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