I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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