i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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