I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
