One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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