I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
