I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
