So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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