Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
