I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize