Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
