You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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