She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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