forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
