hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
