That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I smell stomach acid.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
