just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize