All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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