my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
