My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
