he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
someone owes me an orgasm
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
