I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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