You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
