I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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