i jhust puked up my retainher.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Sacagawea was the original milf.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
