"it" just moved
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
