I think my vagina is haunted
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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