So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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