Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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