either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
