drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
