I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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