Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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