Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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