That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize