I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize