She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
