My friends, they love my intelligence
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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