she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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