it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
