I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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