they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
