Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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