Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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