No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize