living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
