Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
