So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
