dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
