i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
