Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
