On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
