I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
