I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize