So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
