so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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