please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I could fuck to npr.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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