love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
