Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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