No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
