I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
