so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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