There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
