I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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