Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have already put on my inside pants.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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