Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
