We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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