sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
