great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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