super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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