i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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