if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize