porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
