I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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