Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
